By now, you would have a rough idea that some nonsensical incident has occurred, where untrained, raw people are forced to be out in the spotlight and usually end up making fools of themselves in front of the entire country.

I am, of course, talking about Rahul Gandhi’s speech at the CII.

But there’s also something called the IPL happening which is keeping the nation busy between 8 to 11 every night. Whether or not you like the concept of T20, you cannot ignore the IPL. In fact, most IPL haters end up talking about cricket more DURING the IPL. It’s quite ironic and hilarious.

Anyway, there are various types of people who watch the IPL, and we thought it’d be cool to put them down so you can figure which type you are, and which type your friends are.

  1. Le sophisticateux

Claims that he watches only Test cricket, and that too unedited footage from the 1970s. Because everything after that is rubbish, tarnished by aggressive cricket. Believes anything over 3 runs per over is a reflection of all the wrong things with society today. Drinks wine and has fine goat cheese from Zambia while watching cricket. Naturally detests the IPL. Can be equated to your chacha who thinks that any food with garlic in it should be outlawed.

  1. The OMG

Polar opposite of Le Sophisticateux. This guy watches all the matches, believes all the advertising, thinks Sameer Kochchar is actually good (!) and claps his hands in glee every time Ravi Shastri delivers another cliche. People like these are SET MAX’s advertising guys’ wet dreams.

  1. The marketing guy

Doesn’t care two hoots about cricket, but he’s put half his year’s advertising budget on the IPL. Watches the IPL only to see how many times his brand got mentioned. Goes into a fit when the ad has to be chopped “just because the next over has begun!”. Responsible for terms like Karbon Kamaal Catch, YES BANK Maximum and other such ‘genius’ terms. If you know any such people, kindly whack them on the head, preferably with a brick. Or three.

  1. The fantasy team hardcore

He’s registered on all the fantasy team games and when his players flop, he reacts like this. When the player he JUST dropped scores a century and takes 6 wickets in the same match, he reacts like this.

When he realises he forgot to change his players for the day, he reacts in the exact same way. It’s awesome fun trolling such people.

There are many more, which we’ll address as the IPL goes on. So, which one of these are you?

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